How to Choose and Connect with a Deity

Whether you're new to witchcraft/paganism or deepening your practice, the call to work with a deity can be a powerful and transformative experience. Deities offer wisdom, guidance, protection, and a unique energetic relationship that can support your spiritual growth. But with so many gods, goddesses, and divine beings across pantheons, how do you choose one—and how do you begin to connect? Let’s explore.

Step One: Know That You Don’t Have to Choose Right Away

First, let’s clear this up: you don’t need to rush into working with a deity. Some witches never feel called to work with a specific one, and that’s perfectly valid. But if you feel that magnetic pull, that subtle nudge in your dreams or meditations, that’s your intuition whispering it’s time.

I do quickly want to mention that you do not have to work with/worship deities in your witchcraft practice. This is a pagan practice and choosing not to work with deities doesn’t make your practice less meaningful in any way. You might even be more inclined to work with and connect with your ancestors; stay tuned because I’ll be sharing a post on that soon!

Step Two: Open Your Awareness to Signs

Many witches first connect with a deity through signs—subtle or bold. These can come in the form of:

- Symbols; like owls for Lilith or roses for Venus/Aphrodite. Keep in mind symbols aren’t associated with only one deity each. However if you do constantly see the same symbols take note of that and consider looking up what deities are associated with the symbol you keep seeing.

- Repeated names in books, media, or conversation. When it comes to social media, the algorithm does influence what you see repeatedly, but also take a moment to notice how you feel (physically and emotionally) when you do see repeated names. If you’re intrigued in a particular deity, this could be your intuition trying to nudge you to look further into that deity.

- Dreams or meditative visions. I keep a dream journal which helps with dream recall. I remember asking my spirit team if a specific deity was trying to reach out to allow that deity to send me a dream. That same night Venus sent me a dream and I knew it was her because of the symbolism and because I had already been seeing her pop up in my everyday life.

- A strong emotional or physical reaction when reading about a specific deity. Your emotions are linked to your intuition which is linked to the divine. I definitely felt a strong emotional and physical reaction when Lilith was first trying to reach out to me.

Start paying attention to what keeps showing up in your life. Synchronicities are a language the divine loves to speak. This can be tricky at first and it may make you feel confused but try not to stress or overthink it. I promise the signs the divine sends you aren’t detrimental to what you are doing. That being said with time you can curate a personal communication style with deities, ancestors, and/or your spirit team. If you want to learn more on this, be sure to check out this post next.

Step Three: Research with an Open Heart

Once you notice a pattern or feel drawn to a particular deity, begin your research. Read about their mythology, history, correspondences, and how others have worked with them. Don’t just rely on one source—deities evolve across cultures and eras.

While researching, ask yourself:

- How does this deity make me feel?

- Do I feel inspired, safe, or empowered when I learn about them?

- What aspects of their story or energy resonate with my life? This is what can show you why you are inclined to work with a particular deity.

If it feels like a soul-level recognition—you’re on the right path.

Step Four: Make the First Move (Respectfully)

Start simple. You don’t need a grand altar or complex ritual. Try:

- Lighting a candle in their honor

- Placing an offering (flowers, incense, food) on a small space dedicated to them

- Meditating and inviting them to connect with you

- Writing a letter or prayer expressing your desire to build a relationship

These are just suggestions. You could simply find a quiet space, get in a meditative state and speak aloud or in your mind. Speak to them like you would a wise mentor or beloved ancestor—with reverence, but also authenticity. Let whatever feels natural to say come out. Make sure to call them out by name, introduce yourself, and tell them why you are calling out. Why are you interested in communicating with them? Why do you want to build a connection with them?

Step Five: Cultivate a Relationship

Deity work is like any relationship—it deepens over time. Once you’ve opened the door, stay consistent:

- Talk to them regularly (in your head, out loud, or in writing)

- Offer things they enjoy or are associated with

- Celebrate their sacred days or festivals

- Ask for guidance and listen for answers through signs, intuition, or divination

Some deities will become lifelong companions. Others may come and go, teaching what you need at that moment. Stay open and trust the flow.

Journal Prompts for the Journey

To help you reflect and tune in, try these journal prompts:

- What kind of divine energy do I feel most drawn to (feminine, masculine, non-binary, cosmic, chthonic, etc.)?

- Are there mythological figures or stories I’ve always been fascinated by?

- What signs or symbols have been showing up for me lately?

- How do I want a relationship with a deity to support my magic and personal growth?

Final Thoughts

Working with a deity can be deeply affirming and magical. But remember: you are divine, too. The relationship between witch and deity is a sacred partnership, not a hierarchy. Choose a being who uplifts and empowers you. And above all, trust your intuition—it will never lead you astray.